Dear Bill Turlock, Van and Olga;
Enjoyed your website which happens to be a major public service for all of the brethren, especially as an education. A longtime pantyman I've seen it all in 38 years of obsessive activity and if you don't mind, here I wish to offer some words of solace for your readers. The level of continuous anxiety and distress is very evident in many of the Van & Olga letters posted, which is no surprise as I struggled with myself until age 43 to understand the cause and reason. Surprising to say, having been a physician or med student during 20 of those years offered precious little in the way of insight since the majority of info in published texts, until 1991, was and remains a blizzard of gibberish. Theories.
Along the way I found a vital clue, that at least one of the unhappy-apprehended panty thieves had confessed to his analyst a memory of being sexually molested by a female babysitter at age 4 nearly. This struck me as a revelation at the time although I could not recall, for myself, any event like this. Now the reason is that nearly all of us, the brethren, repress any negative memories from these remote and vulnerable toilet-training days.
Most of the women who change our diapers and train us in this regard are entirely benign and caring; however, some of them do tend to play with the little cocks and bums situated before them and there is an huge range of behaviours and therefore each future outcome is different. These extend from pleasant toying and tickling, all the way to forced fellatio and anal penetrations, ... that is to say, RAPE, by any other name. Some of these perpetrators have actually confessed to this, having been sexually abused themselves in childhood and they find the urge to do these things irresistible. Their reports, found in the literature of rape and incest survivors, almost defy belief. Bear in mind that from the perspective of a toddler, diapers and panties and clothes are all the same thing, now and in the future.
Most of this is forgotten by victims, the good and bad, until adolescence reminds us in various ways that an exciting link exists between panties ("lady-diapers"), attractive women and our cocks. For most guys, panties or other silky items never become a necessary intermediary or parallel interest, simply because they were never fondled or molested at that vulnerable, toddler stage. For them it is merely a decorative interest, giftwrap to be removed rapidly to arrive at the main course, like on an Xmas present.
I was one of the kids actually raped (forced fellatio) by an old-bag of a "babysitter" and it took me a mere 39 years to recall a mental image of what the lady did! The final consequence is, after several failed but never the less pleasant relationships, I have been celibate and will probably remain so. This is extreme and many of the brethren are very lucky to have wives, longslasting partnerships, or at least a few exciting women in their lives. A successful relationship is an enviable ideal and the price may be high.
Therefore it is simply necessary to understand, both for the brethren themselves and their distressed or puzzled partners, that at some early stage inappropriate sexualization of an innocent child has occurred, either by accident or intention. Subtle abuse can also take the form of dressing a boy in girl's clothes or undies, so that the final mosaic of teen or adult activity can be complex and confusing.
When an adolescent boy, age 11 to 20, begins to hunt and steal panties obsessively this is a clear signal that in the past, some form of inappropriate stimulation or molesting has occurred. That's it really, but he will always possess this urge.
Having a nice stash of carefully selected items works for me, being better than any drug or therapist. Purchasing things, either new or formerly-female-owned, removes completely the guilt of theft and the heavy risks of being caught, panty-handed. Of course, theft offers its own wild exhilarations. A lot of your readers already know all this perhaps. There is one group of our guys who crave freshly soiled panties, a particularly difficult supply problem in that they may need to recruit a female assistant; but where there's a will, there's a way.
A few other precious insights here: for the ladies there are actually a fair number who experience sexual arousal and excitement wearing nice undies, and in the remarkable books by NANCY FRIDAY, descriptions occur of panty fetishes that one might think had been invented by a man! And these girls and women like to see others in nylon, or silky, lacy stuff but they are not gay. The origin of this excitement is exactly the same as for us... it goes back to positive, early experiences, sexually arousing. In my military years I recall a number of young women invariably in guy-style outfits all the way down to, and including, the undies; but I never heard they were in the least gay or bisexual. Some were married and a few more were probably gay or bisexual, but not all by a long way.
Other women have had very negative and therefore ambivalent experiences regarding panties that explains their revulsion or disgust with their male lovers' strange panty obsessions. When these women entered menarchy, i.e., their periods began to occur, the unpredictable onset caused many pairs of undies to be ruined. Now this only becomes a psychological problem when an angry mother goes ballistic after the third or fourth pair is ruined and that unhappy young girl will always see panties as decorative cloth "toilet paper", necessary garments lacking sexual interest. No surprise that these women, as adults, are disgusted by any partner with a panty fetish. Understand this. Call it tough luck.
Now if you wish to publish any of these thoughts on your website, please feel free to do so as there is certainly no copyright and you can sign me off as "Doc Panty". I would be flattered indeed; in the meantime how delighted I would be to recount some of my extraordinarily risky adventures of past years in the panty department. If you would like to run these for the benefit of younger or horny readers just drop me a note. They may help you sell a few more items, which is good for the economy says Mr. Bush.
Here is a copy of a letter forwarded early in September, just before the Arab attack, to a famous women's mag in New York answering a column that appeared in one of their back issues about "us guys". I have no idea if she deleted it with her spam files or put this aside for further reflection. It may be a useful extra record on the "Van & Olga" column for any female readers. On the other hand, feel free to drop it in your Drawer 13.
To : Dr. Irma Kurtz, Cosmopolitan Staff, New York
Dear Dr. Kurtz,
While not a regular Cosmo reader I happened upon an issue in a waiting room a few years back; therein was a letter to your column from a dejected young woman who had been prying secretly into her boyfriend's bedroom closet. Her terrible discovery consisted of a sports bag, filled with panties in a variety of sizes and styles, formerly owned by several women and some of these items... still soiled! He must have been a laundryroom thief and his girlfriend, "Pandora", had opened his secret box.
You gave this woman a well reasoned reply I thought, excepting at the end where you advised that she might have to consider abandoning him, if his bizarre behaviour persisted; probably it did.
Perhaps you were unaware that young men like this are, most certainly, survivors either of childhood rape or molestation in which the perpetrators were women, usually childminders, relatives, family friends or older siblings. Sometimes the molestors attack children at the toddler stage and they escape prosecution, because there is no evidence and the victims cannot speak coherently; the perfect crime. Some of this molestation is relatively benign although a consequence, years later, is this curious and persistent male interest in panties or other lingerie items.
Moreover the male victims often block out any negative memories, and in my own case many years passed before I was able or willing to recall the details; however my interest, or rather obsession, in pilfering the panties of beautiful young women began exactly when I was 12. Not long after becoming a medical doctor, I "graduated" to the clothing stores, purchasing new and used, not wanting to compromise my career or cause any distress to women. Few of my "victims" ever realized they had even lost anything in particular, strange as it may seem. How many women meticulously count their undies over and over again?
To my understanding, the young man described in your column had a favourable prognosis because he had succeeded in establishing a live-in, trusting relationship with this young woman; there are many positive outcomes like this although I have been celibate, not unusual in rape survivors of either gender.
Surely you would never recommend to a male reader that he abandon his female lover if she was the rape survivor, simply because she had evinced inconvenient or odd behaviourisms that disturbed him?
I do hope you seize an opportunity to rewrite that column with a more modern reply although it is difficult to know how common is the male panty fetish; they tend to be shy men and are usually very faithful partners, especially if their female lovers are tolerant and non-threatening. Any woman that knows the secret path to this man's heart will exercise a vast power over him, continuously. One could do much worse, ending up with a compulsive adulterer, drug addict, T.V. golf-junkie or a physical abuser. True?
Respectfully yours,
[Doc Panty]